Love your peeves - many of them are mine. How about " he couldn't breath" ; the blonde and/or the brunette for men? he didn't fair so well?
Although cerulean orbs is a topper - hard to go down lower than that.
Velvety orbs - tactile imagery combined with eyes. Ew.
I'm not sure about beautiful - okay, I should think, from a clear POV. Bad when it is intended as purely descriptive, from an all-seeing perspective.