Concritathon - Four Fear

This is my public concritathon post in which I ask other participants of peasant_'s concritathon (and anyone else who feels like it) to leave their critique of Four Fear.

Part 1 & 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8a, Part 8b, Part 9, Part 10a, Part 10b, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13.

Anyone critiquing might be able to clear up doubt I have about the following:
- pacing
- characterisation (especially the original characters)
- POV (I switch a few times, which according to my creative writing books is totally legitimate if there's a good reason, as long as the reader does not get whiplash - but I had fear of POV changes instilled into me, so I'm not objective here)
- foreshadowing (too much? Not enough?)
- theme and metaphor (too much? too subtle?)
- is there an elegant way of making this a little leaner? Where do you perceive 'fat' in the story that needs trimming?
- should I cut down on dialogue tags?

Of course if anything else leaps off the page, good or bad, please tell me.
Thank you very much!

Also, does anyone on my flist feel like making a little banner and/or icon for this fic? I have a few pics... *looks hopeful*
Meanwhile, I shall endeavour to write concrit for others and I'll try to finish this story. Yup! *looks determined*

Music - RL

Squee! Hubby bought me a CD: Snailing - by Code Blue, a musician from Hannover. It features a wonderful cover version of Disney's My Own Home, that sounds very acid jazz. I heard that particular song several years ago on the radio and a couple of days ago I googled it again, and this time we found the necessary info to order it. Yay. The rest of the CD is okay, a little bit like a Nick Cave - Shriekback mix, but slower, but My Own Home is fantastic. Can't remember the last new CD I bought. The Evanescence album, I think. A long time ago.
I have set my eyes on a Dead Can Dance collection. Maybe I can browbeat hubby into getting it for me for Christmas. Or maybe I'll buy it for hubby for Christmas. Not sure.

My therapist tells me I should be more strict when enforcing me-time. And that I should force myself to make it quality me-time. Unfortunately even basic pleasures like sipping a latte in a nice street cafe, watching people as they hurry past, are rare these days, due to financial uncertainty.