LTAS rewrite

[estepheia]

Um, did I say my revamping of LTAS would be gentle? *looks sheepish*
Right now, chapter two is more red than black. Oops. How did that happen?

ETA: And I shouldn't read anything by witling while betaing my own stuff. *bangs head on desk*

Comments

[zyrya]

I read your rewrite of chapter 1, and then had to re-read all the rest of the non-rewritten chapters because I love that story so much. So I can't wait to see what you do with it!

[estepheia.livejournal.com]

Hee, I just posted the second chapter. :-) And I'm tinkering with number three. But I think that chapters needs fewer changes.

I'm glad you're enjoying the story so much. Maybe I'm too critical, but I look at some of the dialogue and think: this doesn't sound like Spike or Xander at all. And the UST seems to pop out of nowhere.

Please let me know if you spot mistakes or if anything reads awkward or forced. :-) I'd also like to know if you think I actually improved it or if I tinkered too much. Thanks.

[zyrya]

There are some definite improvements. For example, I can't see Spike thinking "hostile vibes", and in general I prefer fics where the characters' thoughts are made clear through dialogue and actions rather than being told explicitly in the narrative. The writing is much tighter now ... it flows better.

Not that the original was rubbish!

[estepheia.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much! *is relieved*
I'll finish chapter three today. :-)

[monanotlisa.livejournal.com]

ETA: And I shouldn't read anything by [info]witling while betaing my own stuff. *bangs head on desk*

I love your fic but hear you so well; I am definitely NOT reading Yahtzee's and other writers' contribution to the J/N ficathon until I've finished mine...