Oh woe is me for I am undone
Nov. 18th, 2005 11:58 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Yesterday it finally happened: I ran out of nanowrimo steam.
I wasn't happy with the way I taught my course yesterday; somehow things turned out a lot less stringent than planned (Actually, I think I overplanned). I had forgotten to take my cough meds and I hadn't slept enough and it was migraine weather. All in all I had a low energy day. After lunch I slept for a few hours which made me feel marginally better, then I tried to write, without success. In the end hubby told me to get out and do something else - so I went boardgaming. I played so-so. At least my temper improved. After midnight I gave writing another try but I couldn't concentrate and ended up rereading and changing things and now it feels like my nanowrimo novel is coming apart. It sucks. The characters are not clearly defined, I take too long to get to the action stuff. I feel I should strew in a few explosions and deaths - not a good feeling if you're writing in a semi-medieval setting. The thing is, I have been way too nice to my characters. They need more obstacles. But I tend to write scenes as connected, so if I go back and make the consequences of one action more dire, everything that comes after collapses and needs rewriting too. Baaah.
In the end I only managed a measly 500 words. I broke my at-least-1000-words-a-day rule. And if I break a rule once things always go downhill. *flails* 18.280 words is not enough. *bangs head on desk.
I wasn't happy with the way I taught my course yesterday; somehow things turned out a lot less stringent than planned (Actually, I think I overplanned). I had forgotten to take my cough meds and I hadn't slept enough and it was migraine weather. All in all I had a low energy day. After lunch I slept for a few hours which made me feel marginally better, then I tried to write, without success. In the end hubby told me to get out and do something else - so I went boardgaming. I played so-so. At least my temper improved. After midnight I gave writing another try but I couldn't concentrate and ended up rereading and changing things and now it feels like my nanowrimo novel is coming apart. It sucks. The characters are not clearly defined, I take too long to get to the action stuff. I feel I should strew in a few explosions and deaths - not a good feeling if you're writing in a semi-medieval setting. The thing is, I have been way too nice to my characters. They need more obstacles. But I tend to write scenes as connected, so if I go back and make the consequences of one action more dire, everything that comes after collapses and needs rewriting too. Baaah.
In the end I only managed a measly 500 words. I broke my at-least-1000-words-a-day rule. And if I break a rule once things always go downhill. *flails* 18.280 words is not enough. *bangs head on desk.
no subject
Date: 2005-11-18 11:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-19 10:13 am (UTC)I can procrastinate the best story to death. You know me, I have way too many unfinished WIPs because the longer I work on it the stronger my evil Inner Censor becomes. It increases not just with the amount of words written but also with the amount spent. Meaning: the faster I get a thing done, the less time I have to worry whether it sucks or not.
So anything that forces me to write fast is a good thing. Also, hubby respects nanowrimo, and so do the kids, so as long as I keep it limited to one month I can demand and get alone time to write.
It works well. I try to tap into the creative part of the brain. And of course I'm hoping to re-train myself away from the excessive fine-tuning snail's pace that I've adopted over the years and back to white heat writing...
So yeah, definitely worth it. Mind you, last night I was ready to give up entirely.
Today I wrote 700 words already. I have to get another 700 or 800 done to make up for being a slacker on Thursday and Friday, but I feel more optimistic now. :-)
no subject
Date: 2005-11-19 02:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-18 12:10 pm (UTC)Think of it like a diet. You've done great for 16 days, and on day 17 you had a cookie. Doesn't negate all the good effort you've done.
*cronopios love estepheias*
no subject
Date: 2005-11-18 01:39 pm (UTC)I know what you mean about writing connected scenes - I do that too, which I think (has sudden lightbulb moment) is why I'm so scared of long stories. If one bit goes wrong, *everything after* goes wrong too.
But how do you *not* write in connected scenes? I don't know *how* to do it differently.
::hugs::
no subject
Date: 2005-11-18 02:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-18 04:24 pm (UTC)Stop analyzing. You can go back to it and rewrite sections or add things later. Just write until the story is told. Get it out. Even if you have to work backward from the extraordinary finale.
Besides, I'm sure it's fabulous, Steff. You're just overcritical and you sound like you're in a mood right now anyway. So cheer the fuck up, wouldya?
-- Me
no subject
Date: 2005-11-19 07:58 am (UTC)Early May, I was done... The "other" things cropped up (technical writing stuff - Yawn) and so I switched to working on it in my spare time. After some intial feedback I did some re-writes and finaly declared the book "finished" at the end of July--although these never are, if you know what I mean.
So, that about 4 months of solid plotting and writing (500 words on a poor day -- 4,000 on a good one). It left me with 100,000 word novel that, based on my beta-readers feedback, is pretty good. But I then needed another 3 or 4 drafts to kick it into shape and get rid of the "overwriting", the "underwriting" and put in a couple of new scenes requested by the Beta-readers.
Eight Months work?
But, some of the ideas in that novel have been brewing in notebooks and in my head for at least, at least, 10 years...
Nanowrimo is an interesting idea, but, I am a full time writer, I sit here and write the whole day. My flat is near silence when the neighbours naff off to work and yet.... I really doubt I could create anything worth reading in a month. I'm just not talented enough or that good a writer to do things that quickly.
The fact that you are trying to do this, with all the demands of beinga working mum speaks volumes for your strenght of character, but if its not fun any more, perhaps you should consider sitting back and writing this book at a slower rate on knots...
But I remain in awe of people who can create a book in such a short space of time... Really not sure I would want to put myself through that...
no subject
Date: 2005-11-19 10:22 am (UTC)Thank you for your kind words. *hug*
To tell the truth, I doubt I'll finish this draft in one month. The story, which has been brewing in my brain for six years, will need more than 30.000 or even 50.000 words. I already reduced the normal nano requirement of about 1700 words a day to a mere 1000 a day, which I find doable. The point is to teach myself to squeeze those words into my schedule every day. If I manage to carry on after November, then I should be able to get the first draft done by February.
Obviously the prose isn't polished - except where I forget to write speedily and slow down to tinker - which is quite counterproductive. Of course I will need beta readers and a rewrite, so in a way I will be working pretty much like you do.
The real problem is gaining impetus and keeping it. It's easy to drop any writing project because the family demands it and then it's hard to get back into it.
"Strength of character" that sounds nice but it's not how I see myself. If I had that, I'd have a tidyier house and I'd find more time to play with my kids and I'd weigh about 15 kilos less. ;-)
But your words are greatly appreciated!!!
If you are not too adverse to seeing Serenity in German, would you like to meet with us on Thursday night to see it?