Meeh

[estepheia]

I don't know what's wrong with me. I want to climb into a deep hole and never climb out again. I have headaches and writers block and I feel a deep and inexplicable loathing for many of my usual hobbies. Normally I fall asleep seconds after my head hits the pillow, lately it takes me half an hour to wind down. In the afternoons I feel drop dead tired. My blood pressure is so laid back it's horizontal. I feel restless. I feel a bit like when I quit smoking. Only I haven't changed anything or done anything different. I take my St. John's Wort every day and my magnesium tablets. I cut down on coffee because my favorite brand is no longer produced - but that shouldn't make me feel lackluster and migraine-y, right?
I just wish I could get the next chapter of Dealing written, and all the other stories that I owe people. I wish I could write. Just anything. I wish I could be cheerful and write funny and witty comments to people's LJ posts. Wish I weren't so restless. Wish I weren't so boring.
Think I'll go to bed. Tomorrow I'll cut and prune Dealing till the chapter fits. *tries to look determined*

Comments

[estepheia.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the tip, but German doctors don't take this sort of complaint seriously. They tell their patients to get more exercise and eat healthier stuff, and if you are very very depressed they will give you leaflets where you can get counsel (again not medical counsel but financial or marital counsel). Depression is not considered something worth treating until you hurl yourself in front of a truck at least once.
Bah.

Maybe I need a massage. Sometimes my back and neck muscles give me trouble...

Sometimes whining helps. Thanks for letting me.
*hug*