Still here - only not so much

[estepheia]

Haven't updated in ages. I guess I'm drifting away from fandom. Also, I spent way too much time playing various neopet games. *sigh* However, I wasn't a total slacker. Among other things I wrote a poem the other day, and I attended the Writers Ink birthday party. Yesterday I danced till my feet were sore. Every few months, our dance club flies in a teacher from Ireland. He's here this weekend. The second part of the workshop will be this afternoon. Ouch.
I finally wrote the dreaded course evaluation and handed it in. And I spent many hours packing and sorting through books and old video tapes, trying to decide what to donate and what to throw away. Moving is on my mind a lot. Also my non-fandom related writing projects. On Monday I had a writers' meeting at my place and read a scene from my vampire story, the one that I haven't touched in months, and the reactions were so positive that I'm thinking about it again. Yay!
I also received good feedback on a few poems I wrote. But on the whole I find it difficult to be creative. I can't turn off the censor-part of my brain - and therefore I always screech to a halt after just a few lines...
My therapist tells me to stop striving for 200% perfection... *sigh* Believe me, I would if I could.
Anyway, as you can see I'm not dead, sick, or gone, just in a different headspace. I'm sure I'll be back eventually.
Toodles. *waves*

Comments

[shapinglight]

I guess I'm drifting away from fandom.

Oh, dear! You too? I was just thinking yesterday how quiet it was and remembering all the people on my flist who have more or less stopped posting.

Oh, well, it's inevitable really, I know. I hope you'll continue to drop by now and again and let us know what you're up to.

[estepheia.livejournal.com]

Oh, I will continue to drop in, don't worry - but to be honest, reading my flist has low priority these days. I sometimes feel that fandom was my haven when I was unhappy and depressed and aimless. My life is full of other activities now, I am working and making a tiny bit of money, we're moving, and I'm involved as a parent representative in the schoolboard meetings and whatnot... The dance club eats up my time...

God, I was soooo exhausted yesterday, I could barely speak in coherent sentences...

But I'm not gone entirely. I have some Riley/Spike porn on my HD that I'm tinkering with. Who knows, one day it may see the light of day. I don't want to burden myself with another abandoned WIP, hence the not posting it. :-)

I still dream of finishing my other WIPs. I have to get into a regular writing pattern again. Soon, I hope.

And yeah, I know what you mean. My flist is either quiet or posting on BSG...
I'm glad you're still around. :-)

[shapinglight]

I'm glad to hear you're so busy and from the sound of it, finding it very satisfying. I think of my own time of writing fanfic as of finite duration too because I know that at some point this year I will have to get a full time job and then I simply won't have time.

I hope you can finish the Spike/Riley thing one day. It sounds interesting. As for me, I shall be in the fandom until the bitter end, I think. I'm not interested in being in 'fandom', only in the Buffyverse fandom.