I am stupid.
Feb. 18th, 2004 10:39 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
I suck.
Does anybody know where I can buy myself a better memory?
I was asked to organize the extra finances for excursions and such of Toyah's kindergarten group, and for some reason nothing adds up and I can't remember any details. Why oh why did I accept that job? Memo to self: never ever accept honorary posts that require book keeping.
*bangs head against desk, repeatedly*
I can't discipline my brain to remember things. I have no memory for real people, prices, RL events. I live in a blurry haze. I envy people who are able to recognize their neighbors when they meet them at the grocers or who remember whether their wrist surgery was 7 years ago or 10. *bangs head against desk*
Does anybody know where I can buy myself a better memory?
I was asked to organize the extra finances for excursions and such of Toyah's kindergarten group, and for some reason nothing adds up and I can't remember any details. Why oh why did I accept that job? Memo to self: never ever accept honorary posts that require book keeping.
*bangs head against desk, repeatedly*
I can't discipline my brain to remember things. I have no memory for real people, prices, RL events. I live in a blurry haze. I envy people who are able to recognize their neighbors when they meet them at the grocers or who remember whether their wrist surgery was 7 years ago or 10. *bangs head against desk*
no subject
Date: 2004-02-18 01:43 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-18 01:49 am (UTC)I always feel so utterly incompetent when this happens. *whine*
Why can I remember Buffy episodes but am usually unable to access RL memories reliably? It fucks up my life again and again.
I have oodles of really unpleasant stuff to take care of that I've been putting off for ages. and the petty cash was one of them. Now I'm so frustrated I want to go back to bed and pull a blanket over my head.
Also, I have to somehow track an ebay auction that went wrong. I *think* I paid the person, but never received the goods. And I have put this off for over a month. Waaaah.
I guess I'm feeling a little overwhelmed right now.
*sigh*
30 pence is not so bad. A stamp maybe?
no subject
Date: 2004-02-18 02:09 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-18 02:48 am (UTC)I often feel isolated by this and the people with a good memory just never get it when I tell them I don't remember stuff. :-(
Re: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
Date: 2004-02-18 02:41 am (UTC)I'm exactly like that. Considering that I forgot the last two birthdays of my two very good friends in January, I feel like utter crap these past weeks.
I don't even remember the exact lecture rooms of college, just the vicinity. So I usually end up wandering the halls until I see someone familiar entering the room and then I obediantly follow too... *embarrassed* Horrible isn't it?
And I've no memory for names, so I find myself often looking at people, knowing they're familiar, but unsure of whether I should greet them vaguely or not. Since I'm not sure if I even know them. *bangs head against keyboard* The embarrassment!
Also, dates? Mean absolutely nothing to me. Numbers do not stick in my head well. Wargh...
Just sharing in the walking-through-a-haze companionship. You walk not alone...
Re: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
Date: 2004-02-18 02:47 am (UTC)*basks in companionship*
I know that embarrassment so well.
I am constantly feeling guilt over some thing.
Messy and oblivious is not a good mix. *sigh*
no subject
Date: 2004-02-18 03:50 am (UTC)When I was visiting home for Christmas I had my best-friend remind me when her birthday was. About 10 times. And I *cannot* remember. At all.
In fact, now that you've made me think of it, I suspect it was sometime last week. Crap.
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Date: 2004-02-18 03:53 am (UTC)*bangs head*
But it's good to bask in the companionship here on LJ.
Thanks.
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Date: 2004-02-18 03:55 am (UTC)I'm glad you feel better. I'm now definitely sure it was last week, because it was a week before my *other* best friend's birthday and I just got an email reminder about that.
::bangs head::
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Date: 2004-02-18 04:00 am (UTC)Are your friends far away? It's often hard to keep these events in view if you're as far away as you are.... Out of sight out of mind....
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Date: 2004-02-18 04:57 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-18 05:00 am (UTC)If I had to pick some for a friend.... guess I wouldn't know what to give her. LOL.
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Date: 2004-02-18 05:09 am (UTC)They're now married with a baby, but when I was home at Christmas the baby was only a month old and my friend was feeling guilty for not being interested in sex. Her suggestion was to rent a hotel room and she would watch while her husband and I fucked. Now, that didn't actually come to pass (though she was dead serious), but there *was* a group lingerie shopping trip where she asked him to come into my change-room and tell me that I looked sexy, to encourage me to buy the outfit.
It occurs to me that most people would not encourage their husband to tell the ex she looks sexy. But then, she also wanted me to get "spanky pants" so she could spank me.
Yeah, there are good reasons we're best friends. And I could have sent nothing for her birthday and she wouldn't have been upset.
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Date: 2004-02-18 05:27 am (UTC)Babies... yeah, they fuck with your hormones. I couldn't stand sex and hubby and I were abstinent for aaaaages. Then, two bouts of rumpy pumpy and I was pregnant again.
I blame (or rather thank) Madpoetess and Chocolatey Goodness for reviving our marriage. Reading hot boy porn got me interested again and also made me more adventurous.
These days I (probably) wouldn't say no to a nice threesome if I liked the third person. *blush*
So, you gave me TMI and I returned the favor with TMI of my own. *giggle*
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Date: 2004-02-18 05:40 am (UTC)I'm pretty much like that with all my good friends though - I mean, there were a bunch of us for the lingerie shopping, and I ended up buying lingerie for two other friends. ::shrug:: I've also been known to take nervous friends to get birth control prescriptions, download porn for a friend, and go sex-toy shopping with friends. My friend
Everybody needs at least one friend they can talk about sex with, don't you think?
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Date: 2004-02-18 06:23 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-18 06:26 am (UTC)Though really I just like to talk about sex. ;)
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Date: 2004-02-18 06:37 am (UTC)Me too. *giggle*
And food. And James.
So, I'm not a one-note person, I have at least three. :-D
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Date: 2004-02-18 09:56 am (UTC)-Ok, first off: so jealous about the dedication of the future loss of virginity. This is the sort of thing that I aspire to.
Everybody needs at least one friend they can talk about sex with, don't you think?
-Secondly, this is making me all nostalgic. In days gone by, I was always the person that everyone came to with any and all sex questions or if they needed someone to go with them to buy x taboo thing or go to a strip club or something. But since I left college, it seems that everyone that I know/meet is suddenly a prude. No one talks about sex anymore (or they appologize profusely about it and speak in veiled sentences). And I just realized that their self-censoring is beginning to effect me. Damn it. Thanks for the reality check.
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Date: 2004-02-18 05:09 pm (UTC)so jealous about the dedication of the future loss of virginity
As well you should be.
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Date: 2004-02-18 05:40 am (UTC)Hell I tell all the time (she says like that's a good thing).
:D
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Date: 2004-02-18 06:23 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-03-02 05:00 am (UTC)You did it again, you melted my heart, I miss you so much...you brought tears to my eyes...I can't wait for you to get home.
Tell your friends you love them with a vibrating rubber duckie... ;)
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Date: 2004-03-02 05:11 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-03-02 05:13 am (UTC)(Halfway down the page.)
no subject
Date: 2004-02-18 05:40 am (UTC)I so feel your pain.
::cuddles::
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Date: 2004-02-18 06:42 am (UTC)The problem is that all these minor failures add up to a feeling of great failure. *sigh*
God, I hate Wednesdays. Today is packed with stuff.
Incidentally, if I were to writemore Spandrew, do you think it should be a sequel to Knocking or should it be a new first-time fic or should it be friendship???? What do you think?
*smooch*
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Date: 2004-02-18 07:03 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-18 07:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-18 05:41 am (UTC)I've decided that the brain remembers what it wants to and that's the way it is. I hear tell that there are exercises you can do for memory but I can't remember to go to the gym for my body so how the hell am I gonna remember to exercise my mind?
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Date: 2004-02-18 06:26 am (UTC)There's an old scifi novel by John Brunner about selective memory called The Stone that Never Came Down
He blames selective memory on all modern woes. And a few old ones too. :-)
And I hear you about the gym. I joined this January and went twice. Ack!
no subject
Date: 2004-02-18 06:12 am (UTC)I'm currently taking fish oils as I hear they are good for things like this. I'll let you know if they work - if I remember!
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Date: 2004-02-18 06:26 am (UTC)Good luck!
no subject
Date: 2004-02-18 07:34 am (UTC)Plus the memory thing? Completely with you. I can recite plots and episodes with devastating ease and cannot remember when my brother's birthday is or what I did last week. So frustrating.
no subject
Date: 2004-02-18 09:14 am (UTC)I so hear you on not being able to remember ppl. I *never* remember ppl's names and it often results in crazy situations. I have tried all of the supposed methods of remembering to no avail. *bangs head on desk*
no subject
Date: 2004-02-18 12:46 pm (UTC)I was introduced to a coworker in a different department last summer, and the next day at the company picnic she had to reintroduce herself. Her feelings were hurt too. Fortunately, she was drunk enough she may not remember.
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Date: 2004-02-18 12:57 pm (UTC)Similar stuff has happened to me too.
Ever so embarrassing. Life would be so much easier if these things didn't happen.
I often forget people but they always remember me....
And it *does* reflect on them - if they were more interesting your memory would store them better. *sigh*
no subject
Date: 2004-02-20 04:02 pm (UTC)Years ago I got sucked into being the PTC Treasurer for my kids' school. Average balance was around $40,000, number of checks written each year was in the hundreds, number of different accounts under the main account was approximately 30, plus several subaccounts such as field trip money by grade. I did it for three years. Never again.