estepheia: (Feel I'm getting old...)
[personal profile] estepheia
I suck.
Does anybody know where I can buy myself a better memory?
I was asked to organize the extra finances for excursions and such of Toyah's kindergarten group, and for some reason nothing adds up and I can't remember any details. Why oh why did I accept that job? Memo to self: never ever accept honorary posts that require book keeping.
*bangs head against desk, repeatedly*
I can't discipline my brain to remember things. I have no memory for real people, prices, RL events. I live in a blurry haze. I envy people who are able to recognize their neighbors when they meet them at the grocers or who remember whether their wrist surgery was 7 years ago or 10. *bangs head against desk*

Date: 2004-02-18 01:43 am (UTC)
shapinglight: (Default)
From: [personal profile] shapinglight
I really felt for you when I read this, because I live in the same blurry haze. I'm hopeless with money, and my hair practically stood on end when I was told I had to deal with the petty cash at work. So far, it's not been too bad. I'm out by about 30pence. Still dreading the accountant's visit, though.

Re:

Date: 2004-02-18 01:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] estepheia.livejournal.com
Oh, I'm just glad I'm not the only one. (Sorry)
I always feel so utterly incompetent when this happens. *whine*
Why can I remember Buffy episodes but am usually unable to access RL memories reliably? It fucks up my life again and again.
I have oodles of really unpleasant stuff to take care of that I've been putting off for ages. and the petty cash was one of them. Now I'm so frustrated I want to go back to bed and pull a blanket over my head.
Also, I have to somehow track an ebay auction that went wrong. I *think* I paid the person, but never received the goods. And I have put this off for over a month. Waaaah.
I guess I'm feeling a little overwhelmed right now.
*sigh*

30 pence is not so bad. A stamp maybe?

Date: 2004-02-18 02:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] onetwomany.livejournal.com
I have exactly the same problem, and it leads to so many problems in my current job. So, I've no answers, just sharing your pain :)

Re:

Date: 2004-02-18 02:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] estepheia.livejournal.com
It's good to know that I don't suck alone. LOL.
I often feel isolated by this and the people with a good memory just never get it when I tell them I don't remember stuff. :-(

Re: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

Date: 2004-02-18 02:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] krichira.livejournal.com
I feel for you. Cause I feel for me too.
I'm exactly like that. Considering that I forgot the last two birthdays of my two very good friends in January, I feel like utter crap these past weeks.
I don't even remember the exact lecture rooms of college, just the vicinity. So I usually end up wandering the halls until I see someone familiar entering the room and then I obediantly follow too... *embarrassed* Horrible isn't it?
And I've no memory for names, so I find myself often looking at people, knowing they're familiar, but unsure of whether I should greet them vaguely or not. Since I'm not sure if I even know them. *bangs head against keyboard* The embarrassment!

Also, dates? Mean absolutely nothing to me. Numbers do not stick in my head well. Wargh...

Just sharing in the walking-through-a-haze companionship. You walk not alone...

Re: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

Date: 2004-02-18 02:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] estepheia.livejournal.com
Ooh, you sound just like me! Wheee.
*basks in companionship*

I know that embarrassment so well.
I am constantly feeling guilt over some thing.
Messy and oblivious is not a good mix. *sigh*

Date: 2004-02-18 03:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jack-pride.livejournal.com
I so, so empathize. I can't even blame it on age, since I'm all of 22.

When I was visiting home for Christmas I had my best-friend remind me when her birthday was. About 10 times. And I *cannot* remember. At all.

In fact, now that you've made me think of it, I suspect it was sometime last week. Crap.

Re:

Date: 2004-02-18 03:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] estepheia.livejournal.com
I have a pocket PC to remind me of stuff, however, since my old laptop died I haven't synchronized it and barely looked at it. I am lucky if I manage to get to all my doctor's appointments on time. I suck.
*bangs head*
But it's good to bask in the companionship here on LJ.
Thanks.

Re:

Date: 2004-02-18 03:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jack-pride.livejournal.com
::snerk::

I'm glad you feel better. I'm now definitely sure it was last week, because it was a week before my *other* best friend's birthday and I just got an email reminder about that.

::bangs head::

Re:

Date: 2004-02-18 04:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] estepheia.livejournal.com
If the friends are not Japanese then you may get off with a bit of groveling?
Are your friends far away? It's often hard to keep these events in view if you're as far away as you are.... Out of sight out of mind....

Re:

Date: 2004-02-18 04:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jack-pride.livejournal.com
Yeah, she's back home in Canada. I just sent her some sex toys as a belated gift. I'm pretty sure she'll forgive me. ;)

Re:

Date: 2004-02-18 05:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] estepheia.livejournal.com
sex toys? As b-day gift? Gotta say that's kinda... well... unusual. :-)
If I had to pick some for a friend.... guess I wouldn't know what to give her. LOL.

Re:

Date: 2004-02-18 05:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jack-pride.livejournal.com
There're good reasons we're best friends. For one thing, I set her up with my exboyfriend. There was then a threesome (at her initiative) with both of them.

They're now married with a baby, but when I was home at Christmas the baby was only a month old and my friend was feeling guilty for not being interested in sex. Her suggestion was to rent a hotel room and she would watch while her husband and I fucked. Now, that didn't actually come to pass (though she was dead serious), but there *was* a group lingerie shopping trip where she asked him to come into my change-room and tell me that I looked sexy, to encourage me to buy the outfit.

It occurs to me that most people would not encourage their husband to tell the ex she looks sexy. But then, she also wanted me to get "spanky pants" so she could spank me.

Yeah, there are good reasons we're best friends. And I could have sent nothing for her birthday and she wouldn't have been upset.

Re:

Date: 2004-02-18 05:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] estepheia.livejournal.com
I'd say TMI - except, I find this glimpse into your friendship fascinating. For some reason *our* friends give off more uh conventional vibes. They are more or less aware of the fact that I write porn but, well, I think they probably think I'm a bit nuts.

Babies... yeah, they fuck with your hormones. I couldn't stand sex and hubby and I were abstinent for aaaaages. Then, two bouts of rumpy pumpy and I was pregnant again.
I blame (or rather thank) Madpoetess and Chocolatey Goodness for reviving our marriage. Reading hot boy porn got me interested again and also made me more adventurous.
These days I (probably) wouldn't say no to a nice threesome if I liked the third person. *blush*
So, you gave me TMI and I returned the favor with TMI of my own. *giggle*

Re:

Date: 2004-02-18 05:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jack-pride.livejournal.com
Oh, right, that silly TMI thing. ;) I kinda consider my entire journal TMI-land, 'cause I don't really bother to keep things private.

I'm pretty much like that with all my good friends though - I mean, there were a bunch of us for the lingerie shopping, and I ended up buying lingerie for two other friends. ::shrug:: I've also been known to take nervous friends to get birth control prescriptions, download porn for a friend, and go sex-toy shopping with friends. My friend [livejournal.com profile] minkyleigh has dedicated the future loss of her virginity to me (it's not a secret; it's in the journal).

Everybody needs at least one friend they can talk about sex with, don't you think?

Re:

Date: 2004-02-18 06:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] estepheia.livejournal.com
I find you utterly refreshing. Thank you. :-D

Re:

Date: 2004-02-18 06:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jack-pride.livejournal.com
That's such a wonderful compliment. Thank *you*.



Though really I just like to talk about sex. ;)

Re:

Date: 2004-02-18 06:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] estepheia.livejournal.com
Though really I just like to talk about sex. ;)
Me too. *giggle*

And food. And James.
So, I'm not a one-note person, I have at least three. :-D

Re:

Date: 2004-02-18 09:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] astarte99.livejournal.com
I'm pretty much like that with all my good friends though - I mean, there were a bunch of us for the lingerie shopping, and I ended up buying lingerie for two other friends. ::shrug:: I've also been known to take nervous friends to get birth control prescriptions, download porn for a friend, and go sex-toy shopping with friends. My friend minkyleigh has dedicated the future loss of her virginity to me (it's not a secret; it's in the journal).

-Ok, first off: so jealous about the dedication of the future loss of virginity. This is the sort of thing that I aspire to.

Everybody needs at least one friend they can talk about sex with, don't you think?

-Secondly, this is making me all nostalgic. In days gone by, I was always the person that everyone came to with any and all sex questions or if they needed someone to go with them to buy x taboo thing or go to a strip club or something. But since I left college, it seems that everyone that I know/meet is suddenly a prude. No one talks about sex anymore (or they appologize profusely about it and speak in veiled sentences). And I just realized that their self-censoring is beginning to effect me. Damn it. Thanks for the reality check.

Re:

Date: 2004-02-18 05:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jack-pride.livejournal.com
I'm exceptionally amused that the word "reality" can in any way be applied to me. ;)

so jealous about the dedication of the future loss of virginity

As well you should be.

Re:

Date: 2004-02-18 05:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] luvs-phoenix.livejournal.com
Welcome to the world of TMI. The telling makes you free. Really.

Hell I tell all the time (she says like that's a good thing).

:D

Re:

Date: 2004-02-18 06:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] estepheia.livejournal.com
LOL. *smooch*

Re:

Date: 2004-03-02 05:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jack-pride.livejournal.com
Well, the gifts arrived, and this was the email I got in response:

You did it again, you melted my heart, I miss you so much...you brought tears to my eyes...I can't wait for you to get home.

Tell your friends you love them with a vibrating rubber duckie... ;)

Re:

Date: 2004-03-02 05:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] estepheia.livejournal.com
LOL. Rubber duckie? LOL.

Re:

Date: 2004-03-02 05:13 am (UTC)

Date: 2004-02-18 05:40 am (UTC)
ext_1720: two kittens with a heart between them (Default)
From: [identity profile] ladycat777.livejournal.com
I have the Swiss Cheese Brain. Some things stick and I can't *ever* forget them - random things like my first grade teacher, to what I wore to the semi-formal - and the rest of it? Pfft! Gone. Completely. I remember nothing. Hell, I think I'd forget most of high school if it wasn't for [livejournal.com profile] ironwench and the fact that she has a steel-trap memory.

I so feel your pain.

::cuddles::

Re:

Date: 2004-02-18 06:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] estepheia.livejournal.com
*cuddles back*
The problem is that all these minor failures add up to a feeling of great failure. *sigh*
God, I hate Wednesdays. Today is packed with stuff.
Incidentally, if I were to writemore Spandrew, do you think it should be a sequel to Knocking or should it be a new first-time fic or should it be friendship???? What do you think?

*smooch*

Re:

Date: 2004-02-18 07:03 am (UTC)
ext_1720: two kittens with a heart between them (Default)
From: [identity profile] ladycat777.livejournal.com
Continuation of Knocking - but I'd set it in Damaged.

Re:

Date: 2004-02-18 07:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] estepheia.livejournal.com
Heee. I already started the story and it's post-Damage. I just couldn't decide where to take it. The first few lines are posted in one of yesterday's posts. :-)

Date: 2004-02-18 05:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] luvs-phoenix.livejournal.com
My daughter does my finances because I suck so much. I have you beat babe.

I've decided that the brain remembers what it wants to and that's the way it is. I hear tell that there are exercises you can do for memory but I can't remember to go to the gym for my body so how the hell am I gonna remember to exercise my mind?

Re:

Date: 2004-02-18 06:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] estepheia.livejournal.com
I have always been oblivious and my memory selective.
There's an old scifi novel by John Brunner about selective memory called The Stone that Never Came Down
He blames selective memory on all modern woes. And a few old ones too. :-)

And I hear you about the gym. I joined this January and went twice. Ack!

Date: 2004-02-18 06:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hellsbells.livejournal.com
I am so scatty. I have to make lists in order to remember to do *anything*.

I'm currently taking fish oils as I hear they are good for things like this. I'll let you know if they work - if I remember!

Re:

Date: 2004-02-18 06:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] estepheia.livejournal.com
LOL. Okay, try your fish oil.
Good luck!

Date: 2004-02-18 07:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sangpassionne.livejournal.com
Sympathy. We're currently wrestling taxes and accounts and so far they're winning hands down.

Plus the memory thing? Completely with you. I can recite plots and episodes with devastating ease and cannot remember when my brother's birthday is or what I did last week. So frustrating.

Date: 2004-02-18 09:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] astarte99.livejournal.com
*cover ears* la la la My auditor self hears nothing of this finance keeping method. *grins*

I so hear you on not being able to remember ppl. I *never* remember ppl's names and it often results in crazy situations. I have tried all of the supposed methods of remembering to no avail. *bangs head on desk*

Date: 2004-02-18 12:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nwhepcat.livejournal.com
::feels your pain::

I was introduced to a coworker in a different department last summer, and the next day at the company picnic she had to reintroduce herself. Her feelings were hurt too. Fortunately, she was drunk enough she may not remember.

Re:

Date: 2004-02-18 12:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] estepheia.livejournal.com
Oh yeah, that sucks.
Similar stuff has happened to me too.
Ever so embarrassing. Life would be so much easier if these things didn't happen.
I often forget people but they always remember me....
And it *does* reflect on them - if they were more interesting your memory would store them better. *sigh*

Date: 2004-02-20 04:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mahaliem.livejournal.com
Memo to self: never ever accept honorary posts that require book keeping

Years ago I got sucked into being the PTC Treasurer for my kids' school. Average balance was around $40,000, number of checks written each year was in the hundreds, number of different accounts under the main account was approximately 30, plus several subaccounts such as field trip money by grade. I did it for three years. Never again.

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